Tears Fall Like Rain
by Cathryn Marinelli
The rain pounded on my windows, beating hard, constant, and heavy. My television gave off white noise that my ears welcomed in familiarity. My sweatshirt sleeves pulled over my hands, with the hood pulled loosely over my uncombed hair. Layers fell wave-like on the sides of my face, attempting to cover ruined make-up. Mascara ran down my cheeks, which I was too numb to clean away. My bare legs shivered as I rubbed them, thinking of changing out of my shorts. My black and white shorts seemed to bring too much comfort – along with my purple sweatshirt – so I decided not to change.
I snuggled into my sweatshirt as I felt more tears falling from my eyes. I wiped my eyes, mascara staining my sleeve. Rubbing my legs, I stood up and looked around the dark room. My television illuminated where I was standing, seeing it was the only light. I walked to the window and placed my hand on the icy glass, staring at the rain falling on the other side. Raindrops raced like my tears down the window as my breath fogged the glass. I traced his name with my finger, causing my tears to catch on my eyelashes. I imagined the raindrops dancing in time to the slowest song imaginable in honor of me.
I backed away from the glass, staring at his pain-filled name. I licked my dry lips, brushing my hair away from my eyes. I tugged at my sweatshirt, confused at why it had to happen to me. My bare feet shuffled across the cold, unwelcoming floor as I moved back out of the dark and into the light. I thought about him, about us, about how three days ago, our love was flourishing. Three days ago, our hands would still be connected as we walked down tree-lined sidewalks. Three days ago, we would barely ever part ways, and when we did, a kiss greeted our departure.
I screamed in frustration and picked up a cordless phone and chucked it at the window. Glass shattered as I fell to the floor, wind and rain flying through the hole. Tears ran over my lips as I gasped out sob after sob, my heart aching from how he left me; my soul aching after three days in solitude after the split that I tried to stop. I remembered his hand leaving mine as he said the unthinkable without a cracking voice. His voice strong as a steel knife, he walked out of my life. Taking the knife to my heart, I felt my very essence shattering, as I stood alone. Minutes later, rain started pelting my head from clouds that appeared out of nowhere.
I ran home with my arms over my head, fumbling with slippery hands to open my back door. I had slammed the door behind me, water dripping silently onto the floor as I turned my head. I glared at the umbrella leaning against the wall as I mentally slapped my forehead.
I had changed out of my wet clothes that day and felt everything turn to gray as reality set in. The rain hasn’t stopped since that day, some tropical storm blowing over. I cursed myself for throwing the phone at the window, cold air now flowing through my house. Rain pelted onto the floor, little droplets falling on my chilled feet. I huddled inside my sweatshirt, cursing myself again as I walked back towards the coach and television. Torn up pictures covered the cushions, frames hanging on the wall staring back in curiosity. I sighed and stared at my feet, as if they’d know the answer to my problems.
I thought of him, how he had left me for that other girl. Blonde, blue eyed, perfect silicon boobs, and eyelashes clumped by mascara. In my eyes, she was nowhere near perfect; but that would be how I would see every girl he set his eyes on. I don’t even know how I got so wrapped up in this guy; as if he was the center of the universe, and I just a lonely star. I realized, that even after I said lonely, no tears leaked from the corners of my eyes.
I wiped under my eyes, probing and moving around my eyelids. I ran my bitten fingernails gently over my eyelashes, moist but no longer soaked from my tears. I breathed through a clear nose and I spun around, my eyes taking in every inch of the walls.
I stopped, my eyes settling on one lasting picture of him and I. His lips were pressed, smiling, gently on mine; my heart-shaped lips a light shade of plum. The picture had been taken a little ways away, and the frame cut off at our waists. That was where his fingers were intertwined with mine. I had an arm outstretched, my hand hitting the top corner of the camera lens, a blurry peach smudge ruining the perfect moment.
I popped out the back of the frame, the picture floating like a leaf into my hand. Laying the frame on the table it was on I stared with clear eyes at us. At what we were, what we did, what we felt, and what I believed. I believed him when he said we’d split never, and I would always embrace him warmly. I blinked, no tears falling onto the aging picture. My past faded away, getting older and older by the second. I kissed his face gently before smiling and tearing the photo in half. He floated one way while I floated another.
I smiled widely and walked towards the door, looking at the umbrella. I opened it before opening the back door. I stared with lips parted at clear blue sky. The sun shined down at me, bouncing off the leaves and grass. Laying down the umbrella, I walked away from my past. I walked freely towards the future, and it didn’t bother me that he wasn’t there.
I am a fourteen year old girl, dreading entering high school. I write because it is my life, and I can't imagine myself do anything different at this point. At first, this picture was hard to spark inspiration, but I got it eventually, thanks to television and a thunderstorm.
Pieces Inspired by this Image
'Hung Out To Dry'