Too Cool for Zombie School

by Rusty Fischer

On the first day

Of zombie school;

Zed quickly proved

He was too cool. 

He did not stand

When teacher said;

Or even act

Like the living dead. 

He didn’t seem

To understand;

The teacher’s lengthy


He sat and stared

At the board;

And scratched the top

Of his gourd.

When it was time

To practice crunching;

On an apple

Zed was munching. 

Where is your brain?”

The teacher bellowed;

At this rather

Lazy fellow. 

But Zed just shrugged

And sat there chewing;

As the other students

Were zombie doing. 

But in speech class

It was the worst;

The teacher scolded

Poor Zed first. 

Repeat after me,”

The teacher said.

“ ‘I want the brains

Inside your head.’ ”

Zed shook his head

And said with glee,

I won’t eat brains,

No, no; not me.” 

The teacher sat

And shook her head.

Then taught the other

Zoms instead. 

At lunch Zed sat

And frowned his face;

As the other kids

Got in a race… 

To see who could

Eat brains galore;

Until they could

Eat no more. 

Zed drank his milk

And pushed away;

The brains heaped on

His plastic tray. 

And later on

In the gym class;

Zed could not even

Earn a pass. 

Coach Zucker benched him

On the side;

When Zed would not

Shuffle with pride. 

Stop walking like

A living kid,”

Coach Zucker went

And blew his lid. 

And that was when

It dawned on Zed;

They thought he

Was the living dead. 

He raised his hand

And tried to reason;

But it was zombie

Shuffling season. 

And Coach would not

Heed his cries;

As the zombies rocked

From side to side. 

The next class was

How to Behave;

But first a speech

Our dear Zed gave: 

I am not like

The lot of you;

I simply have

A nasty flu… 

Which is why

My skin is gray;

I’m only having

A real bad day. 

I do not eat

Human brains;

The heartbeat in

My chest remains… 

And so, dear teacher

A mistake was made;

I’d like to go back

To the seventh grade!” 

And zombie teacher

Smiled with glee;

And gave her class

A quick decree: 

You heard him, kids

Zed’s heart still beats;

So get up fast

And move them feets!” 

And so Zed got

His final wish;

He made a tasty

Zombie dish. 

But when they were done

And Zed reborn;

Between two worlds

The boy was torn. 

He was a zombie

Yes, indeedy;

And it had happened

Rather speedy. 

Now he could stay

In zombie school;

And play the ghastly

Undead fool. 

Or he could go

Back to the living;

And some zombie

Lessons giving. 

He grabbed his bag

And shuffled off;

The zombie kids

Just sat and scoffed.

But Zed knew where

His head was at;

He was going where

The brains were fat!








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Writers Bio

Rusty Fischer is the author of over a dozen zombie novels, including Zombies Don’t Cry, Zombies Don’t Forgive, The Girl Who Could talk to Zombies and Panty Raid at Zombie High! Visit him at to learn more and read tons of FREE zombie stories and poems just like this one!

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